It’s a Saturday morning and I’m seriously in the mood to head to my local theater, buy a big tub of popcorn, an oversized jug of soda and enjoy a good flick. Sounds great right? Well, there are two big obstacles to this; and neither is related to the failing economy.
1) Movies don’t start in the morning anymore. There was a time on a Saturday or Sunday when you could go and catch a movie at 9 o’clock in the morning. I’m not talking 20 years ago here, more like just a few years ago. Now movies start at 11:00 or after. Have we Americans gotten so lazy that we don’t get out of bed in enough numbers to go out the door and hit the local theater anymore before noon? I know I’m not your average guy, but am I that far away from average?
2) Okay, let’s say that my local theater did have movies starting at 9 o’clock or so; I still have another big problem. The movies released in January - SUCK SWAMP WATER. I know its a time honored tradition of Hollywood to treat January as though it were the worlds largest trash can. They dump the movies they are pretty certain won’t do well during January and even February. I just don’t understand what goes through the heads of the movie studio executives. If I were one of them I would think, all my competitors are dropping crap in the theaters right now so let’s put out one of our sure fire hits and blow them all away. Even if ticket sales are slow this time of year, leave it in the theater longer. Worried about not getting a good nod at the Oscars 12 months later; re-release in December or RELASE THE DVD!
It’s bad enough that DRM is seen as the holy grail to the movie studios. It’s bad enough that my big tub of popcorn and oversized jug of soda cost more than a movie ticket. DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE GOING TO THE MOVIES IN JANUARY THAT MUCH MORE PAINFUL? Movie Execs, you have good stuff in the can right now. I know you do. JUST RELEASE A FEW! Who knows, maybe you will create a new blockbuster season. It’s not like there is tons to do in most of the country in January, maybe people actually want to sit in a warm theater for a few hours and enjoy a great epic or an exciting sequel. But the drivel that’s out right now... man, what is there to love about going to the movies in January? RANT ENDS - We now return you to your regularly scheduled internet browsing.